Why Won’t My Husband Let Me Buy Real Diamonds?


Dear E. Jean: I recently fell madly in love with a pair of diamond studs (very good quality and half a carat each) at my local jeweler. They were originally $1,250, but the store had marked them down to $925 in a liquidation sale. I had to return to the store to pick up my wedding ring, which was missing a side diamond after the jeweler cleaned it earlier in the day, and I took my husband with me. We’re newlyweds of only a year, but he took one look at the studs and said $925 was too much money.

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Trust me, we are not hurting for money!

We make a combined $5,100 monthly. Our only debt is our mortgage, and I put $1,200 into our savings account every four weeks. My husband mentioned our upcoming vacation as an excuse and said “maybe we’d find something better there.” (We went to a state park in a VW!) During this trip, my engagement and wedding rings had to be sent out for repair. Both had loose settings, in addition to the side diamond being loose again. When we got back, we went to pick up my rings and the diamond studs had been reduced to $800!

My husband still said no, and then said that anyway, he’d already ordered my anniversary gift. I discovered that he’d bought me $300 Moissanite earrings: lab-created, simulated diamonds! I just want to cry! I feel sick to my stomach! He’s giving me fakes! —It’s Just Wrong

Just Wrong, My Kumquat: Oh my God! I like you, but honey, you’re an idiot! It’s your husband who’s the gem here, not the stones. Listen: If you don’t love what you have right now, the day will come when you will look back and long for what you had—including the chap who whisks you away to adventures in state parks (a hundred times more romantic and fun than just about anything Auntie Eeee can imagine).

P.S. If you want to complain about a “fake,” look no further than that scurvy rascal of a jeweler who keeps returning your rings to you with “loose settings” (ha!) and “missing a side diamond” and talks you into a cleaning. (Stones shouldn’t come loose, period, and definitely not after less than a year.) Unless you’re the queen of England and want to buff up the ol’ Crown Jewels after the corgis bury them in the yard, it’s best just to soak your rings in warm water with a drop of ammonia, rinse them in soapy water, and give them a little scrub with a soft toothbrush. Liquidation sale, indeed! The only thing being liquidated here is your bank account.

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at [email protected].

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