Reasons to vote:
- Civic duty!
- The possibility to create change!
- Stickers!
There are many other great reasons to get out and vote in every election, but let’s just stop at stickers, because that’s an incredible incentive. We don’t talk enough about how voting is the only place where your opinion is actively solicited and also one of the only places where you can get a free sticker without having to endure a tetanus booster. These are huge pluses. Every Get Out the Vote campaign should literally just be a poster that reads “You get a sticker!” Lines around the block, double platinum overnight, a viral sensation.
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One doesn’t think about how rarely in life one gets stickers until Election Day rolls around and the polling place breaks out that roll of sticky paper goodness and everyone loses their minds. A sticker is literally a participation trophy and, it turns out, they’re pretty great and I would like one.
But, as we’ve all seen from the wave of #IVoted selfies online, the designs of the stickers vary greatly. Every sticker is great but not every sticker is a great sticker. This is an important distinction. No shade to your county’s Sticker Review Bureau, but some visual representations of our civic responsibility leave a little something to be desired. So here, after extensive research, is a ranking of the dozens of stickers being proudly worn into bars offering Happy Hour discounts for voters right this minute.
#44: Baltimore, MD
Regrettably, I am in possession of the least great sticker. It is so small I had to pull my “readers” down off my head to see what it says. It’s so small people keeping telling me I have something on my shirt. You know what I have on my shirt? Patriotism. It’s like a sticker you get off a banana. I need more. It’s a no from me. And this clip art flag like from a set of free checks? Can’t relate!
#43: North Dakota
This sticker is pervasive and I need to know why. Contact the sticker lobby!
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#42: Pima County, Arizona
Simple but lovely. I regret to inform you that I do not like the font. BUT I do like the color of the sweatshirt.
#41: Wisconsin
As the recipient notes, this should have been a cheese-related sticker. Back to the lab!
#40: Minnesota
This is very severe, which I am kind of into, actually. It looks like an Easy Button from Staples, which is what voting should be. It sort of reminds me of a clown nose, which is neither here nor there but I thought you should know.
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#39: New Hampshire
Wow. Okay. A lot to parse. I like the ideas that are happening. I do not know why they are happening the way they are happening, though. “I Votes Voted”? Make it make sense!
#38: Arkansas
Charlene from Designing Women‘s home state seems to order from the same factory as my district, but I’m ranking this one higher because of the shirt. There should be a separate ranking for Election Day attire.
#37: Du Page County, Illinois
This has given me so much to think about. I like that it’s bilingual. I like the ’70s arts-and-crafts starkness of the design. And the ropes are really vexing me! Is there are rodeo in Du Page? I have questions!
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#36: Lebanon County, Pennsylvania
This is not blue. This is cerulean and I pledge allegiance!
#35: South Carolina
I love how every state is obsessed with one thing that no one else cares about. In South Carolina, it’s Palmetto trees (and Palmetto bugs, which are roaches with good PR).
#34: Rhode Island
Cheeky, simple font and great colors. Adore!
#33: Alexandria, Virginia
This sticker has the flag of the city on it, which is adorable. It feels v. v. official, like the governor gave it to you personally. Would I be surprised if it was embossed? No, I would not.
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#32: Baltimore City, Maryland
I don’t know how I managed to not get this one but I am very mad and I am sending a letter to the mayor and also DeRay McKesson. This one gets mad points for really just going for it. It looks like a bootleg of a middle school textbook. Yikes and also hooray!
#31: Mississippi
Okay, wow, this is outrageous and I’m obsessed. Mississippi is not just letting you bask in the glory of your civic duty—it is commanding those you come in contact with to salute you! Like you are the general at the end of White Christmas! This is beyond! Five stars.
#30: New Jersey
Yas, come through, New Jersey, using the font Cooper Black! Obsessed with this simple, clean design, and I love a font with a badonk!
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#29: Pennsylvania
Okay, this is the same design as New Jersey but with a less impressive font. HOWEVER, I am ranking it higher because DOG. I will take no further questions on this matter.
#28: Fairfax, Virginia
Turns out, when you rank voting stickers you see a lot of American flags. Something about this one really grabs me. It seems more confident. I really believe it is billowing. Francis Scott Key is losing his mind seeing this flag through the smoke right now.
#27: Wyoming
This is the same design as my tiny Baltimore sticker but it is BIGGER! You can SEE IT! This is PROGRESS! Yes we CAN!
#26: Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
Living for the deep blue and the frosted flag on this sticker but the real story is this INCREDIBLE jacket. If I saw someone wearing this jacket at my polling station I would vote for whatever they told me to do. DRESS TO IMPRESS FOR DEMOCRACY, SWEETIES!
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#25: North Carolina
First of all, this is how you wear a sticker. Second, though I am not sure what the color situation is of the North Carolina sticker, I like the sassy flag.
#24: Charlottesville, Virginia
There is so much going on on this sticker but somehow it all works! They really got together and decided to print an inspirational novel on their sticker. That’s the American spirit!
#23: Chesapeake, Virginia
This flag glows?! In the dark?! I need more information about the special effects! But also, that random capitalization is giving me heart pains.
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#22: Arlington, Virginia
No glowing, apparently, but all of our letters are the right size. However this font is cattywampus. What is happening in Virginia?!
#21: Michigan
I really did vote did u? This sticker is in your face and asking you questions like Lesley Stahl. This sticker demands answers! And! This sticker uses Cooper Black. A winner! Lastly, this sticker uses two question marks like when your mom is texting you about something relatively minor that still needs an immediate answer. BOLD!
#20: Missouri
Font sizes are all over the place but that statement jewelry is SENDING me. Love it.
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#19: Hudson County, New Jersey
Wow, Hudson County really sprung for that sophisticated flag graphic! No cartoons in Hudson County, honey! Photos only, please! And what a strong font choice!
#18: Connecticut
The return of small stickers and clip art flags. Sad! A state shape. Glad! But also, real talk, Connecticut is a boring-shaped state. I’m just stating the facts, okay. It’s a box. I don’t make the rules. I just enforce them.
#17: Ohio
Let’s talk about state shapes! We don’t see them enough and although I believe we should abolish borders, I also like the little squiggly lines on maps. I contain multitudes and they all vote against their best interests! Anyway, this sticker is great, even though initially I read it as “I Voting,” which feels like an existential statement.
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#16: Lexington, Kentucky
Kentucky has a great shape! It’s like a chicken drumstick! Also they used a checkmark for the V in Vote. Ingenious. This would not pass a Scantron, but it passes my test!
#15: Texas
Early voting stickers are worth their weight in gold! If you vote early or absentee, they should mail you a sticker. A whole sheet of stickers! Wear one every day! Texas has a great shape and the color story is fun. I approve of this.
#14: Oregon
That’s what I’m talking about! Look at this! I would not buy my own sticker paper and I don’t own a printer nor do I understand how to work the office printer, but I would treasure this nonetheless.
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#13: Denver, Colorado
Oh! A skyline! A logo! There was a committee involved in this and I’m impressed!
#12: Tennessee
Wow, Tennessee really got out the precision die-cut for their stickers. The Taylor effect. I LOVE a state shape sticker, especially if your state is not box-shaped. (Again, I am sorry Connecticut but I cannot tell a lie in front of white Jesus.)
#11: Alabama
The south is really splurging and I am obsessed. This is great and the stars and stripes are just enough.
#10: Las Vegas, Nevada
Unsurprisingly, Las Vegas is doing the most! Is this a voting sticker or flair from the Hard Rock Café? It’s so busy and so well-designed. My only quibble is that it does not include any references to Celine Dion or Britney Spears’ residencies. What are we voting for if not the continued presence of divas in Sin City?
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#9: Alaska
The constellation is a really lovely touch. Question: Do astronauts vote absentee or can they just call in their vote to NASA like they’re ordering delivery?
#8: Illinois
Okay, wow, no one told me there was JEWELRY involved in this situation. I DEFINITELY want to rock my patriotism using a bracelet like I just left a club or state fair. The design of this one is okay but the idea is top notch. JEWELRY!
#7: Kentucky
More jewelry! I didn’t know this was possible. I want to Ocean’s 8 one of these bracelets. Also, congratulations on your engagement!!! What a great day for the country!
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#6: Duchess County, New York
The name of the county is Duchess?! I’m screaming! And so is the woman on the sticker! Yes, bullhorn suffragette! Shout down the patriarchy! I need this sticker in my daily life.
#5: Chicago, Illinois
Now this is the Chicago I know and love.
#4: Evanston, Illinois
Strong font game, many languages. A quality sticker that would be proudly worn by Diane Lockhart.
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#3: California
I love that there are many languages. I love that the red and the blue have been toned down a notch. It’s like this sticker has been run through an Instagram filter. This sticker is an Influencer, baby.
#2: New York City
This is a design masterpiece. Such elegant lines, such great branding. I am envious of every person who is wearing one of these today.
#1: Georgia
This is the best sticker. I am sorry, New York City. I love your train design but it does remind me that the trains do not run very well and you did not elect train conductor Cynthia Nixon to fix them. Georgia sticks with what it knows and does well: peaches! The art this has! The color gradient this has! The leaves this has! What I love about Georgia’s sticker is that the shape of the peach communicates with the shape of the sticker and it makes me hungry and it reminds me of an emoji for butts. Butts for democracy!
Special Judge’s Prize: Alaska
These early voting stickers from Alaska are just phenomenal. The deer is driving the tractor! How wild! Every state should employ a cartoonist or other artist to design special stickers for them. Mail these directly to my house and I will wear them every day!
Honorable mention:
AGH! BABY!
And the beautiful special sticker from Squirrel Hill.
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