5 Women Who Opted For Unique, Nontraditional Wedding Rings

“Let me see the ring!” It’s the age-old insistence that family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers make after one announces their engagement. But not everyone’s on the bandwagon: some millennials are spending less on engagement rings while others are erasing the word “engagement ring” from their vocabulary completely. So, what it’s like for those people, the people who opt for a ring tattoo—or a one-of-a-kind sword—instead of something that can be counted in carats?

We spoke to six individuals who chose to go the unconventional-ring route, and they all shared a similar reason for eschewing the norm. “For one, I like being different for the sake of being different, and I don’t see anything wrong with that,” said Maryna from Toronto, Ontario who has been with her husband for 13 years, five years of them married. “As an interracial gay couple, our relationship hasn’t been traditional and I wanted my ring to follow suit,” said Geena Russo, one half of a couple that’s from Newport Beach, California, and has been together for a little over two years.

Here are five unique stories that don’t include any princess cuts or Tiffany Blue Boxes, but are still full of happily-ever-afters for the couples involved.

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Maryna

My husband Erik and I are pretty unconventional. Before there were ever any talks of engagement, he knew that I wouldn’t want a diamond ring. For one, I like being different for the sake of being different, and I don’t see anything wrong with that. But also, whenever I have anything expensive, I get super anxious about losing or damaging it. Wearing a diamond ring around would send me into an array of gasps and sighs. No thanks.

Erik knew that I’m not particularly heart-set on anything expensive, but I guess he wanted to give me something special anyway. What he gave me was his engineering ring. Upon graduation, every engineer receives a ring to remind them of their ethical responsibilities. On top of that, to most new graduates, this ring represents the years of hard work. Not everyone who starts out makes it to the finish line. At the time, this was the perfect gesture of commitment.

“Where’s the diamond?” “Oh, that’s nice.” “What is it?” That’s what I often heard when I showed my ring. But to the people who understood us, and understood what this ring really means, the response was “Aww. That’s perfect.” We actually don’t have ‘wedding rings’ either, we have tattoos. Erik and I borrowed rings for the ceremony.

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Alexandra

It wasn’t actually until I began to see one friend after another’s parents go through divorce that I began to question the origins of marriage and many of its corresponding traditions. What bothered me most was engagement rings. Their fraught history, one-sided nature and the fact that the power and initiative rested with just one partner rubbed me the wrong way. Why should I take a passive role here when I’m in charge of the rest of my life? Why shouldn’t our engagement be as equal as our relationship is?

I expressed these concerns, and a few months later, he was reaching under the couch and pulling out a 28 inch tempered steel Japanese sword in a blood-red scabbard to propose to me.

Our parents and close friends were thrilled on the whole, but we definitely heard — “Wait, no ring?” and “Are you crazy?” from friends and family. Not to mention the constant flashes to my finger when the topic comes up.

When it comes down to it, I want my symbol of commitment to reflect my reasons for commitment. A sword mixed things up, made me feel powerful, and put a fresh take on a tradition I couldn’t get behind. Sure, in the end, getting attached to any object is a little silly, but can anyone really argue with a sword?

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Geena

I opted for an untraditional ring because my partner and I are untraditional. As an interracial gay couple, our relationship hasn’t been traditional and I wanted my ring to follow suit. When we talked about getting married, she wanted to be the one to propose. The only instructions I gave her were: design a ring that makes you think of me, and I want my dad to make it. I also didn’t want it to be this big purchase. To me, the honeymoon and saving for a family are where I’d rather we put our money as a couple. As long as the ring followed my instructions, I didn’t care how big it was.

I didn’t want to be involved in the process at all. To me, it wasn’t just about her proposing to me, it was much bigger than both of us. My father has not always been on board with me being gay. I think parents, in general, believe you are making your life harder when they’ve worked their whole lives for you to have an easier life. No one chooses to have a hard life. Having my ring made by my father and designed by my partner was about love, putting aside differences, creating connection, and joy.

From what they’ve told me, there were some creative differences over what metal to use for the prongs and the colored stones to put on the sides. Apparently, my mom had to be the peacekeeper, and I couldn’t be happier with the end result.”

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Kate

I have never been a fan of diamonds or really any shiny stones. Growing up, I was attracted to lapis, malachite and stone rings my mother would buy at craft fairs.

Mike and I both love being outside, skiing, trail running, and mountain biking, so incorporating rocks we found on our adventures was more personal and meaningful to us. He knew that’s what I wanted, so we would always keep our eyes open for unique rocks when we were out in the woods or around streams.

Mike proposed to me with one of the rocks we had found and then we both went back through all of the pieces we had collected over the years and found two that we thought complemented each other well and would work as the centerpiece of a ring.

The ring is two rocks – a large, unidentified green stone that we tumbled in a rock tumbler to get it smooth, and a red agate. I specifically remember finding the agate on a mountain bike ride around Big Sky but have no idea where I found the green one. A lapidarist set a piece of the agate in the green rock, so it’s surrounded by the larger stone. It’s set in 14K yellow gold with a white gold band.

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Lindsey

As a little girl and young adult, I never dreamed of getting married, so I never thought about what kind of ring I would want. When I met my punk rock now-husband his personal values didn’t jive with traditional diamonds, so when it came to the ring, he decided on proposing with a family heirloom. It is a very untraditional ring that has two different color pearls that are slightly off-set on a gold band.

A few months after our engagement, my dad passed away. My mom gifted me my dad’s wedding band and we decided to use the gold to melt down and create my wedding band since the band needed to be slightly curved to fit with the shape of the ring.

I remember when I first got engaged, friends would say, “ring pic!” and when I showed them my ring, they would say, “Oh that’s…unique.” I definitely feel there was an expectation for how large my diamond would be, so to see pearls instead, people’s reactions were often filled with fake enthusiasm. I would then tell them the story of the heirloom pearls and that the gold from my wedding band was from my dad’s wedding band and the fake enthusiasm shifted to sincerity.

Today, I mainly just rock my wedding band because it is way more durable than the pearls and it carries so much meaning to myself and my family.