Dear E. Jean: My future daughter-in-law isa wonderful young woman who has brought happiness into my son’s life. She’s warm, genuine, and fun; has a great career; and is driven and organized. Being with a woman who is strong and decisive seems to suit my son. He’s equally charming and kind, but more low-key, less driven. Everyone adores him.
That being said, he’s also kind of a baby. He likes to be mothered, and his fiancée does plenty of it. She takes a mothering tone with him—as if he were five years old. I tried talking with him about it once. He said I was in the wrong, so I backed off. Should I try again, or just cringe (and watch my friends cringe) when she treats him like a child? Should his dad and I approach him as a team?—The “Actual” Mother
Actual, My Artichoke: Never give advice to people who don’t want it. Your son is happy, his fiancée is happy, and a wise mother knows when to stay silent. All you can do is model the type of relationship you wish for him.
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