How Do I Cope With Rejection?

Dear E. Jean: What’s the best way to move past rejection, whether it’s job rejection or romantic rejection? The conventional wisdom is to remain resolute and “try, try again,” but I’ve been doing that with no luck. What should I do?—Human Repellent

Human, My Heliotrope: I know more about rejection than any advice columnist of my weight and age in America. Throughout my life, when rebuffed, I’ve stood up, rushed off, and bunged my heart all over again. I’ve jolly well been rejected about 95 percent of the time. Why so often? I sulked not a second. Instead of rolling on the floor, clutching my head and sulking, I’d yodel positive hogwash like “Rejection makes me stronger” and “Rejection makes me smarter,” totter out, and try again. This is stupid. The key to turning around a brush-off (professional or amatory) is to figure out the ways one has made an ass of oneself, and then draw up a plan to avoid doing the same dumb things again. This is where the sulk comes in. A sulk heightens negative emotions. Negativity brings critical thinking. Critical thinking improves results. Do it, Miss Human!

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at [email protected].