Netflix’s ‘The Princess Switch’ Has Big Bonkers Energy

Last year, we had A Christmas Prince to accompany our Harry’s-taken-oh-well-I-guess-I’ll-eat-four-tubs-of-ice-cream holiday sads. This holiday season, The Princess Switch is streaming on Netflix to satisfy our royal-fantasy requirements. Vanessa Hudgens stars as Stacy De Novo and as Lady Margaret Delacourt—identical women who bump into each other one surprising day, and switch places for a lark. Margaret wants to experience being “normal” and Stacy, well, who needs an inducement to be royalty for a couple of days?

The Princess Switch is everything you think it’ll be: extraordinarily silly, at least 40 percent inexplicable, snowy as hell, heavy on the holiday schmaltz, and a tiny bit swoony even if you go in to the viewing experience believing it will be stupid. Here are all the thoughts I had while watching your new holiday bingefest.

• Right off the bat, these characters do not act like actual people. You’re telling me that two people who look identical meet each other and don’t completely lose their shit? Joey from Friends got more excited when he met his HAND TWIN, for crying out loud.
• Who is this rando old dude insisting that Stacy is going to fall in love? I don’t talk to men I don’t know, let alone let them give me life advice.
• Stacy-as-Margaret and Prince Edward are trying so hard not to kiss. I don’t understand why she’s not trying to kiss him and have him fall madly in love with her so she can steal the prince and become a princess. Hello?????? Not everybody gets this kind of OPPORTUNITY. I also don’t understand why he’s being so skittish. Have Margaret and the prince not kissed…ever? I guess they only met each other twice before they got engaged. Which is also bonkers.

• *Googles “princess switch prince actor”* Okay, Sam Palladio. You’re my husband now.
• *Googles “princess switch kevin”* Okay, Nick Sagar. You’re my other husband.
• Li’l Olivia is the only one here who knows what’s up. Now that she knows about the switcheroo, she is pumped for her dad to fall in love with a princess. Laser focus. Amazing. That’s what I’m talking about.
• Margaret’s flirting outrageously with Kevin. Does she know Stacy has to work with him every day for, like, forever? What if she screws up their whole relationship? The bakery will be ruined forever! Very inconsiderate! Having said that, this is exactly the kind of energy Stacy should be harnessing with the prince. STEAL HIM. I’m just saying.
• Meanwhile, Stacy is telling the prince off about not wanting her opinion when it comes to affairs of state. Has she forgotten that—oh, I don’t know—she’s not actually the duchess? Does she know anything about Belgravian politics? I don’t think so!
• Why is this movie about Stacy and Margaret and not about that red-headed minx, MRS DONATELLI? She’s a saucy one. You just know she goes to the clerb at night.
• Here comes Stacy in a big red ballgown dress and a tiara. Sure, fine, that’s nice. But where’s my makeover montage? I deserve it! I’ve been a good girl all year.

“Do not kiss the glove, it doesn’t even belong to me LOL”

NetflixGabriel Hennessey

• FINALLY—Stacy sneaks in a kiss with the prince. Naughty, naughty. By which I mean, good one, girl.
• Hang on, why does Mrs Donatelli think that STACY is just what the prince needs? She’s Margaret’s lifelong carer and confidant. Whose side is she on? I guess she knows that Margaret is a wild, free horse who just can’t be tamed by schedules or princes.
• Holy mackerel, Kevin has the biggest pecs I have ever seen in my whole life. What’s a prince again?
• Doesn’t the prince have any security staff? He’s heading off to that toy emporium without a care in the world. Must be nice for you, buddy. Harry and Meghan probably have to plan four months in advance to even leave the house.
• Oh, very innocent suggestion, Stacy: Twister is only the most sexual game on the planet. If Meghan Markle and Prince Harry were playing Twister in public, we would never hear the end of it and honestly I hope they do someday because I’m a very lonely soul and I need some warmth in my life.

“Yup, I’m definitely a baker. Not a duchess pretending to be a baker.”

NetflixGabriel Hennessey

• I love that Olivia is so obsessed with Margaret when she’s only known her for literally two days. It’s like the first time I had sweet chilli sauce.
• Props to Netflix for shouting out its own Christmas movie, A Christmas Prince, in this, its other Christmas prince movie. It’s blatant holiday rom-com inception and I love it. But if they really wanted to lean in to that, they should have used the same cast for both movies. The Christmas Princess Switch: Would watch.
• Now Margaret is making out with Kevin???? THESE VANESSA HUDGENSES ARE SO IRRESPONSIBLE. POOR KEVIN HIS HEART HAS JUMPED OUT OF HIS CHEST AND IS BLEEDING IN A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR.

Honestly, this cake is only just kind of fine?

NetflixGabriel Hennessey

• Wait, the Belgravia Annual International Baking Competition sounds iconic. Where is that TV show? Because I’m out of Great British Baking Show episodes. They should have gotten Mary Berry to be a judge, though.
• Rude that Stacy gave Margaret her necklace, but Margaret didn’t give Stacy hers. Now Stacy has TWO necklaces. And a PRINCE.
• I’m sorry, but even though she is horrible, Brianna’s Christmas bauble cake is very impressive and it must have tasted extremely bad for her to come second. Stacy and Kevin’s is fine and whatever but it’s literally just a tiered cake that is red and green. Come on.
• Are the cameras still rolling on this Stacy/Margaret moment? This is prime gossip fodder. (And is Olivia just sitting in the audience by herself? Somebody think of the children.) Would 100 percent watch “German Baker Sues After Prince Edward Upstages Baking Competition Bronze With Duchess Margaret Lookalike Revelation.”
• (Wait, so Vanessa Hudgens got to kiss two hot guys in this movie? Good for her.)

• She “loves Edward more than she’s loved anyone in her whole life”???????? YOU HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR TWO DAYS, STACY.
• See, I thought Edward’s engagement was going to be stupid and irresponsible but actually this “let’s get married in a year if we still love each other” thing is pretty sensible.
• I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY NEVER EXPLAIN WHO THIS WEIRD OLD GUY IS. WHY DOES HE SHOW UP EVERYWHERE. WHY DOES HE WANT MARGARET AND KEVIN, AND STACY AND EDWARD TO GET TOGETHER SO BAD. WHAT’S IN IT FOR HIM. IS HE A SECRET AGENT FOR SOME KIND OF BELGRAVIAN ENEMY STATE.
• Hang on, the king and queen don’t seem at all bothered that the prince married some rando baker from Chicago. Which is very cool and everything, but after Margaret’s whole thing about having to do her royal duty and marry the prince even though she doesn’t really want to…do they just not actually care? LOL, amazing. I guess I love this movie!

The Princess Switch is streaming on Netflix.