Jamie & Claire & Brianna & Roger

Who was starting to miss the whole time-travel part of Outlander? Well, you were in luck this week: Episode 3 took us forward to 1970s America, to check up on how Jamie and Claire’s daughter Brianna is faring. Not so great, as it turns out. The ’70s might be relatively modern for this show, but some decidedly un-modern things happened. Meanwhile, Jamie and Claire’s semi-domestic happiness was totally disrupted again. Twice.

Can you keep up? Here’s everything that rattled our bones in “The False Bride.”

• Inverness, 1970. So we’re in Brianna’s timeline. Why is Roger sitting by himself alone in an empty house? Still, if this whole historian thing doesn’t work out for him, at least he can play his jaunty guitar in a nice Scottish band.
• Oh—Mrs Graham’s granddaughter, Fiona, is taking over Reverend Wakefield’s old house. Didn’t she used to have a thing for Roger? Seems she has herself a nice man now. And also a giant jar of salt. Each to her own!
• “You’re leaving Scotland to go to a Scottish festival?” Ernie has a point, ol’ Roger, ol’ pal. That’s a bit bonkers. But I suppose that’s because a certain someone lives in America.

• Long-distance relationships aren’t easy, and I suppose they were even more difficult in 1970. After seeing each other only a couple of times a year, I’m sure Roger and Brianna’s relationship is kind of rocky. Didn’t Bri learn anything from her mother and father? Although, I suppose being at least in the same year is a step up from what Jamie and Claire did.
• Claire and Jamie are leaving River Run. That’s not at all surprising. What is surprising is how easily Jocasta seems to be taking the news. She’d hoped her nephew would come to appreciate the way “things are different here.” There’s no way Claire and Jamie could come to terms with enslaving people, though, and now that they’ve seen how violent the consequences can be for even a small effort at change, they’ve decided not to stay at the house any longer. It’s awful that they’re walking away from the dilemma. In the past—think of Culloden—they haven’t had much luck changing the broader path of history. But will they think about Phaedre and Ulysses again?

• Jamie is emotional at leaving his aunt behind. She reminds him of his mother, for one thing. Also, Claire and Jamie don’t have any resources. But they’ll head west, anyway. What else can they do?
• Young Ian isn’t very happy about the plan to send him back home to Scotland. He reminds Jamie that he was fighting a war when he was younger even than Ian is now. Jamie knows there’s probably not much he can do persuade Ian to go home. And anyway, as long as they’re across the sea from Jenny, she can’t do anything about it. Looks like Ian lives in America now, too!
• Claire and Jocasta face off one more time. Both strong women, they see the steel in each other. But Jocasta can’t help throwing one last disappointed jab at Claire, telling the younger woman it’s her fault Jamie won’t accept River Run. Rightly, Claire is furious. Their ideas of how Jamie can be a great man are very different.

“Babe, do you want to watch the Great British Baking Show tonight?”

StarzMark Mainz

• John Quincy Myers is randomly going to join the Fraser party. Okay, then! I guess he will be important eventually, but right now he just seems to be whitesplaining the Native Americans’ lives and cultures.
• Back in 1970, Roger’s landed in Boston. First stop? Dairy Queen, apparently. Okay, then!
• I have never heard of this game called The Minister’s Cat that Roger and Brianna are playing, and I do not want to play it. Also, “allagrugous” is such a Roger (read: nerdy) word. But Brianna’s got him matched with…“coccydynious”? I don’t know, they deserve each other.
• They’re heading to North Carolina, to follow in the footsteps of her parents. Brianna called Roger “pretty,” and I don’t think he will ever recover. She also kissed him while he was driving, which is just not safe. Did her parents spend so much time apart to keep her out of harm’s way, just so she could throw her life away in a horny car accident? I don’t think so!

• Without the complex burden of River Run, Jamie and Claire could go anywhere. But Claire makes it clear she doesn’t want to go to Boston. That city will be dangerous because the Revolutionary War is due to begin soon—and she’s lived there before, with Frank. She wants a different, new life with Jamie.
• Okay, so Jamie and Claire have a very eventful day-to-day situation. I’m sure that when they have quiet moments alone, they wish they could just talk about Schitt’s Creek like everyone else. Instead, it’s always like, “Ha ha, remember when that French count tried to poison you,” or “Oh man, so great how we were separated by space and time for one thousand years.” So it’s funny to see them just plodding along on horseback, talking about Brianna. Obviously, even that’s weird, because Jamie’s never met her. Never a boring moment with these two. But it’s nice to see them having a nice, normal family discussion.
• Despite their chilly farewell, it seems like what Jocasta said has stuck with Claire. Now she’s asking Jamie what he’ll do—surely, he won’t work at a printing press again. Too boring for our redheaded Scottish warrior!

“I like Prue. I just miss Mary Berry, you know?”

Starz

• “I was an outlaw when first we met,” says Jamie, looking smoulderingly at Claire. Yes, you were, my love—and he actually wouldn’t mind returning to those old ways. But it’s a bit more complicated now that he has a family. “I would lay the world at your feet, Claire,” he says. “But I have nothing to give you.” WHAT ABOUT THE HOTNESS GENE.
• It is so weird to watch Brianna in North Carolina at a Scottish festival, when we know Claire and Jamie were once in that area, too. (Also, remember: When you see Brianna, Jamie and Claire are dead. Dead!) She’s wondering whether Claire ever found Jamie—that must surely screw you up, having no idea whether your time-traveling mother is safe with your long-dead dad in the 1700s. I hope Brianna is in therapy!
• Oh no, that pesky Claire is missing! Wait, did that tree just light on FIRE? OH NO CLAIRE IS ON THE GROUND. CLAIRE ARE YOU OKAY.

“I’m still carrying a torch for you! No? Well, I thought it was a good joke.”

StarzAimee Spinks

• Roger, I must tell you, if you are wearing a kilt and sit with your legs splayed like that, I must hide my eyes behind my hands.
• Who is this foul-mouth that has taken over our nice beardy historian? Look, Rog, I know you’re disappointed that Brianna doesn’t want to marry you, but you’re being a right twat. I know it’s 1970 and the gender norms of the era are going to play out in this irritatingly backward way, but I can’t say I enjoy watching it. It seems so out of character for him to be sexist, retaliatory, and vulgar. Especially since, I don’t know, he knows that Brianna is the child of a very ahead-of-her-time woman and a Scotsman from the past. Surely he’s not beholden to dumb norms. Hasn’t he ever heard of free love???
• God, I’m so #TeamBrianna. She even came back to the bonfire to explain where she’s coming from—very reasonably, I might add—and he doesn’t apologize for saying those horrible things. He just wants to marry her, or nothing. Zero-sum games are for fools, Roger!
• Finally, it’s that skull we spied in the season’s preview trailer. So the ghost that helped Claire was a time-traveller, too, when he was alive. According to the credits, his name was Otter Tooth. I wonder how he’ll come back into the picture.
• Wasn’t expecting Jamie to fall in love again—fortunately it’s with a piece of land, rather than another woman. Fraser’s Ridge, it’s nice to meet you.

Outlander airs on STARZ at 8 P.M. on Sundays.