Barbra Streisand Scared James Corden with Tales Of Driving Woes, Calling Tim Cook, and Trump Songs on Carpool Karaoke

Somehow, James Corden convinced actual legend Barbra Streisand to appear on his Carpool Karaoke on The Late Late Show with James Corden and it is a journey. Corden has memorably roped such luminaries as Jennifer Lopez, Paul McCartney, and Michelle Obama f. Missy Elliott, so getting Babs isn’t necessarily such a shock. But what’s so incredible is how it all went down. The way it were, as it were.

First of all, Barbra Streisand drives herself and I am already shouting.

Producer: So, what we normally do is James pretends to call the celebrity and they jump in the car and off they go!
THE Barbra Streisand: What is this, a Lyft? I’ll drive myself. With my own car. James can follow me at a safe distance.
Producer: We sorta need you both in the same car, though?
THE Barbra Streisand: That sounds like a personal problem.

Somehow, they convinced the number one fan of parades and the number one enemy of weather to allow James in her car. At which point, she promptly launched into a long story about how she couldn’t really drive. And I am doing cartwheels of joy!

“Are you a good driver,” Corden asked. Streisand’s response, “Eerrmmm…” It’s a sound like if you played a Cardi B record backwards.

“Last year, they said you have to come in for a driving test,” Streisand complained. “I had to do the written exam!” As she said this, she absent-mindedly took both hands off of the wheel to push her hair out of her eyes before suddenly realizing, Oh snap, a diva is driving!, and quickly grabbing it again. And, like James Corden, I am screaming for my life!

Barbra reported that she failed the test three times. A shock. But apparently she told them, “Don’t! Tell me not to drive, I’ve simply got to!” because she is out here in these streets, thriving!

In the 15-minute video Corden and Streisand only sang five songs, including her very literal Trump response song “Don’t Lie To Me.”

She spent most of the time regaling James Corden with tales from her singularly incredible life, like when she called Tim Cook to get Siri to pronounce her name correctly. I can’t even get Siri to recognize my face if I’m a little bloated but the Legend Herself is ringing up Tim Cook like “Hi, there’s no Z in my name. Get your life together. Thanks.”

Corden was gobsmacked, but Barbra brushed it off. Apparently, it’s all in a day’s work for an EGOT (yes, I know her Tony was not for a performance; no I do not care; please don’t precipitate on my march). She also noted that she once called Steve Jobs about an issue with her computer and suddenly I have a very different understanding of what being famous is. You know how sometimes an older relative will call you out of the blue or text you in all-caps because they want to know what an emoji you put on an Instagram six weeks ago means? Well, imagine that but it’s Liza Minelli. What a world.

In any case, Barbra can clearly call anyone she wants, about any issue, at any time, day or night. That’s sorted.

What’s also sorted is that though Barbra maybe shouldn’t be operating a vehicle, she should definitely be at the helm of her own late-night show immediately if not sooner. I need more tales of treating billionaires like tech support! I need more Resistance bops! I want to hear about the cloned dogs every single day! And I need less falling water on my mobile public gathering!