Mandarin Duck Lands in Central Park

Today, all of Manhattan and surrounding boroughs have basically stopped, because a Mandarin duck was spotted in Central Park. The L train started and then stopped again and then the conductor got over the loud speaker and was like “This train is going out of service because there’s a beautiful, magical duck floating in the water in Central Park and tbh we’re all freaking out about it.” Of course, none of it was intelligible, but everyone got the gist.

A duck! A glamour duck!

The New York Times actually reported on the presence of the duck today with such a feverish intensity you’d think the duck was a Trump voter from a coal town. “The male Mandarin duck, native to East Asia, should not be in the middle of Manhattan,” Julia Jacobs writes. “And yet, against all odds, he is here. And he is dazzling.“

Like many visitors to the city, the Glamour Duck checked out Central Park and then walked slowly through Times Square. Later, it went on a Sex and the City tour and bought a map to try to determine which trains stop at 42nd Street.

But all that was before fame came for the Glamour Duck.

Pictured below, the duck emerging from a late lunch meeting at Jack’s Wife Frieda:

Giphy

The Glamour Duck was first spotted on October 10 by Manhattan Bird Alert, my main source for news on the internet. Twenty days later, it was on the front page of the New York Times. Above the fold. (Or so I assume; it’s hard to tell when everything is online.) Kudos to the Glamour Duck’s publicist for getting it in national coverage in less than a month. This duck has had a faster fame glow-up than Ally Maine.

ME: Hey.
Duck: Quack!

Getty ImagesSAM YEH

ME: I just wannee gedda nother look atchoo.
Duck: (smiles cryptically; runs its wing along its beak.)

Getty ImagesTao Zhang

If there’s anyone who’s far from the shallow now, it’s this duck! Because its body floats on water! Do you see?!

The Glamour Duck in a spread for The Gentlewoman.

Getty ImagesYuri Smityuk

Reports are coming in that this Glamour Duck has been added to the new cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars, despite the fact that it has never previously appeared on Drag Race. Doesn’t matter. The RUles do not apply.

Getty ImagesJane Barlow – PA Images

Would you dare turn away this fiery David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust wig or that face that is contoured within an inch of its life? No, you would not! Look at that brow: it’s basically running into the hairline! We stan for a dramatic beat! Or should I say, a dramatic beak. Added bonus: it will be impossible to tell if this duck is flubbing its lip-sync.

We love our new aquatic icon. Here’s hoping it continues to bring delight and joy and no controversial old tweets from the duck ever rise to the surface. We’d hate for this Mandarin Duck to milkshake duck.