It’s Officially Scorpio Season, So Get Horny for Vengeance

There’s rarely a neutral reaction when someone announces that a planet has shifted into Scorpio—or that they themselves were born under this scintillating sign. What usually follows is a low, “Oooooh,” a sound that could be interpreted as frightened or intrigued…or both. And while there’s nothing quite like being pierced by a Scorpio’s stinger, this is one of the zodiac’s most misunderstood, albeit intense, signs.

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And yes, friends, it’s Scorpio season again. From October 23 to November 22, we’ll all be bubbling like hot lava under the surface of an active volcano. And while that can bring some amazing erotic heat, the highs and lows will be…extreme. And with amorous Venus retrograde in Scorpio until October 31 and supersizer Jupiter rounding out a thirteen-month tour through this sign until November 8, we’ll feel this molten magnetism…and how!

Allow us to break down the Scorpio Code of Conduct so you can make it through this season without awakening a slumbering Voldemort.


Loyalty Is Everything

During Scorpio season, you don’t need a squad—you need a straight-up coven. If you don’t see the potential for an eternal connection (perhaps one that has a fated-through-the lifetimes feel), well, why even bother? This ultra-intimate solar cycle can seal friendships and romances for the ages—or cause them to fizzle fast, like the roster of A-listers who have woven in and out of Scorpio Katy Perry’s inner circle. Bottom line: loyalty is required! During this emotionally charged zodiac season, skeletons start rattling in closets and secrets beg to be freed. You want to make sure you’re not whispering them to a frenemy who could soon become “a source” for the local tabloids and gossips.

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Trust Must Be Earned

A word about forming that Scorpio-approved coven. This can’t be handled as poorly as the ill-fated foursome of The Craft. (Although a movie night to re-watch this classic sounds like a perfect Scorpio season bonding experience.) Suspicion of newcomers is practically mandatory between October 23 and November 22. Even if you’re totally enchanted by someone you meet, keep a wall up for a minute. You might even throw a teensy bit of shade or give ’em the side-eye, like Scorpio RuPaul watching Drag Race contenders sashay down the runway. Let people know that not just anyonecan make it into your sacred inner circle.

And once you do lower the drawbridge, don’t start handing out all-access passes to your life. Instead, invite people in slowly. Like Hillary Clinton and Matthew McConaughey, Scorpios prefer to mate and bond for life—after all, it’s the monogamous eagle that represents this zodiac sign’s highest expression. Of course, letting the wrong people in during Scorpio season can lead to years of obsession…not to mention some expensive legal bills!


Sex Is a Spiritual Experience

Have you ever been caught by the mesmerizing gaze of a Scorpio? While you might not go crashing into any rocks or start clucking like a chicken (though we can’t promise) the experience can be downright hypnotic. (Pan to Scorpio Ryan Gosling in The Notebook or really, any of his films.) While Scorpio has a rep for being the celestial sexpot, this sign takes all things erotic very seriously. If there isn’t a connection of the “truly, madly, deeply” variety, the clothes are staying on. That’s not to say there won’t be endless teasing and seduction—that’s all fun and games for this sign. But just because a Scorpio seems to be enchanted by you, doesn’t mean they’ll be slipping between the sheets with you in this lifetime. Sex, as far as they are concerned, should be treated like a sacred act.

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During this four-week cycle, you might want to hold off on the hasty hookups and restrict the compulsive right swiping. While every kiss doesn’t have to be a religious experience, it might be kind of hot to treat “the act” with a bit more devotion. Allow yourself to be fully present with the person in your bed. Make eye contact, connect slowly and sensually—even if you feel like ripping each other’s clothes off. A little bit of control goes a long way to amplify desire!


No Romance Without Finance

Scorpio rules all types of mergers—from long-term relationships to shared financial investments. (Or, as we like to joke, “Asses to assets, lust to trusts.”) If loyalty tests have been passed, Scorpios want to bond deeply, and they don’t mind getting entangled and enmeshed…in fact, like thrice-wed Scorpio Demi Moore, they kind of prefer it.

But this is also a sign that needs security, not just for today, but for the future. While they may love a starving artist, they’re less inclined to take them out of the friend zone until they’re earning those royalty checks. Hey, it’s a self-protective measure, since Scorpios can fall into the codependent caretaker role pretty easily too.

During this astrological season, you might think twice about getting mixed up with people who aren’t financially responsible. For business or pleasure, getting “in bed” with a slacker or gambler or over-spender can mean taking on their money messes—and that can be majorly stressful. But hey, we can’t always help who we fall for. If nothing else, keep separate bank accounts and split those bills down the middle.

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Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold

Scorpio season can arouse all kinds of fantasies—from the deeply erotic to the ones involving revenge. Like the stinging Scorpion or the charming serpent, this astrological cycle can churn up all kinds of buried animosity. And while dreaming of an enemy’s downfall (or literally watching it happen) can bring a bonus thrill between October 23 and November 22, it’s probably best to let “the universe” be the puppeteer.

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