Donald Trump, Accidental Open Mic Comedian, Is Laughed at by the U.N. General Assembly

Here’s how you know things are really going well: when you’re giving a speech to almost all of the world’s leaders—folks like Emmanuel Macron and Enrique Peña Nieto were there but Oprah Winfrey and Beyoncé were notably absent—and you boast to those world leaders about how much your country has accomplished under your tyrannical reign and those world leaders respond by laughing. At you. Openly.

That’s truly impressive; forget about a bust on Mount Rushmore or somehow miraculously finishing your term without getting impeached. Making a blatantly false bold claim and getting open laughter in return is the most American of experiences.

Trump: Me did great things!
U.N.: Bish, you thought.

It’s almost too on the nose. Trump, addressing the 73rd session of the U.N. General Assembly, said, “In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of this country.” Which, like, Teddy Roosevelt established 150 national parks, and you cut taxes for the wealthy and put a bunch of infants in jail, but sure, go off. Trump paused, probably for applause since this is the kind of statement that makes the folks at Fox and Friends wet their pants with glee. But Trump was not speaking to Ms. Fox nor any of her little friends. There was a second of dead air (awkward, amazing) during which dozens of translators tried their best to find a way to relay what Trump had said without audibly scoffing. And, once the phrase had been translated, the laughter began.

The sound of the U.N. laughing at Trump’s baseless and absurd self-aggrandizing is my new ringtone. Is this patriotism?! Unclear.

Trump: And you, and you, and you’re gonna love me.
U.N.: Effie, we all got pains.

Question: is it possible to get a GIF tattooed on me? Perhaps as a series of comic panels. The waves of incomprehension that pass over his face are a balm to my soul, like a cool breeze in a stifling summer of stupidity. Trump, the human version of Gritty that terrifying new mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers, doesn’t know whether they’re laughing at him or with him. Surprise, Sherlock, you’re not laughing.

I almost feel bad for Trump. Almost. No one likes being laughed at, especially by the leaders of the world. Hundreds of people, many well-respected, highly-educated, all laughing at you and your long red tie and the constant scandals and the memory of Omarosa—a second tier reality show scamtrix—wandering the halls of Michelle Obama’s White House with a secret spy pen recording conversations. Can you imagine? Then again, to paraphrase the immortal words of Monique, when you do clownery the clown comes back to laugh in many languages.

Trump: No one has done more than me.
U.N.:

All in all, another successful interaction with the real world for President and Accidental Open Mic Comedian, Donny Jay. It’s no wonder Trump, who definitely hasn’t seen Nanette and definitely should, doesn’t like to go places he doesn’t own. When you steps out in public, suddenly he’s Carrie at the prom.

In closing, I would like to leave you with the sound of the U.N. laughing at Trump, which is definitely one of my horcruxes, and the image of Trump sitting in the U.N. Time Out Chair.

This chair gets me every time. Yes, it’s not really the Time Out Chair, but rather the chair where people sit before they speak, but Trump always looks like he’s being punished for shouting a naughty word. Compare the way he sits in it to two other world leaders.

Emmanuel, super chouette!

Enrique, suave!

Donny Jay, suddenly confronted with every terrible decision he every made!

Ah, it’s good to laugh again.

Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.