How Cynthia Nixon Found Her Voice

It seems, in some ways, that Cynthia Nixon entered the world a fully formed fighter. The actress, known the world over as Sex and the City’s career-driven Miranda Hobbes, Esq., has been working consistently since the age of 12. At 52, she is a Grammy, two-time Emmy Award winner. For years, she’s advocated for public education (her three children are all products of New York City public schools), LGBTQ rights (she married her wife, Christine Marinoni, in 2012), and women’s health care (her activism informed by her battle with breast cancer and her mother’s illegal abortion, before Roe v. Wade). Now she’s running for governor of New York against Andrew Cuomo—an incumbent with a family dynasty and a war chest topping $30 million.

It’s a gutsy move. And despite all her accolades, achievements, and extensive history of community organizing, Nixon knows that she’s a neophyte when it comes to running for office—a fact that some are all too eager to point out. “Like everybody, I have deep patches of insecurity and unsureness,” she admits, “but my parents raised me to believe in myself.” At her apartment last July, with her campaign staff gathered around the dining room—and her seven-year-old son, Max, running around in green underwear and a robot T-shirt—Nixon outlined how she found and continues to find the confidence to speak her mind.

ELLE: Have you always been outspoken, even as a child?

Cynthia Nixon: When I was about 10, I was at my parents’ friend’s house. I must have been talking [a lot], because she said, “Are you auditioning to have your own talk show?” The way I was brought up, I was encouraged to express my views. I am an only child, which meant there was a lot of focus on me, but it also meant that there wasn’t a lot of division between the adult world and kid world.

Plus, you were working at such a young age. Do you remember what you did with your first paycheck?

My mother opened a bank account for me, and I deposited it. The first thing I remember actually buying was a black velvet double-breasted pantsuit. My mother had one, so I wanted to look like her. She was raised knowing that women needed to be financially independent. She tried for 15 years to make it as an actress in New York, and there was incredible financial insecurity. My dad had emotional problems. He was depressed and in bed for a lot of my early childhood. It was partly because my mother wasn’t financially dependent on him that she was able to leave him. But she was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to pay for college. So mostly, I saved.

How do you think acting has prepared you for politics?

I don’t think it has. Being a public person and being able to speak in front of a crowd is certainly a translatable skill, but I think I’m not as combative as an actor. When it comes to activism, fighting against the other side that wants to deny you your rights, that kind of combativeness isn’t something I’ve experienced a lot as an actor.

Being combative doesn’t come naturally to many women.

We have to do a better job at believing in ourselves and our opinions. Even the most ferocious and confident of us are taught to defer and consider the other person’s opinion or feelings. That’s a fine quality to have, but not if it means giving away the store. I notice it with myself on the campaign trail, as well as with so many women supporting me, how much we preface our remarks with “I think,” which means, “Oh, it’s my opinion; you can discount it if you want.” But what we need to do more of as women is to assert things. Not equivocate. It’s hard, but I’m trying.

Have you ever regretted being public about your personal life?

I’ve wished I’d brushed my hair before I left the house and picked out what I was going to wear a little more carefully. But otherwise, no.

Women are saddled with the notion that they can’t give everything to both their careers and their kids in a way that men never are. How has that played out for you?

I’m the daughter of a working mother who was the daughter of a working mother. I come from a line of women who were the main breadwinners in their families. There was never any question that I’d have to go to work. You can be there [for your kids] all day, every day, every minute, and never give enough of yourself. I never felt a lot of guilt about that, and I feel like children will take a cue from you.

Who’s one woman you admire, other than those in your family?

Eleanor Roosevelt. I played her [in Warm Springs], and she was brave, but so scared all the time. I think about that endlessly. People keep telling me it’s so brave to run for office, but being brave doesn’t mean that you’re not sometimes scared. Eleanor said that being brave is being scared, but doing it anyway.

Which is maybe how it goes for everybody all the time?

I think so. We don’t get less scared because we pretend we’re not scared. We get less scared because we acknowledge we’re scared—and then we move on.

This article originally appeared in the September 2018 issue of ELLE.

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