Ask E. Jean – My Alter Ego Is Into S&M

Dear E. Jean: I’m second-in-command of a major municipality, sit on several boards, volunteer my few extra hours a week, and enjoy a whirlwind social calendar. (I was recently described as “the Queen of the Political Scene,” a label I found comical because I was Piggy in my Lord-of-the-Flies-high-school social order.) I’m 29, popular, and I wield power.

That said: Recently I was introduced to the delights of being sexually submissive. I adore this role! I am eternally grateful to the man who introduced it to me. The problem: He’s my friend’s husband. I want to stop! E. Jean, tell me I’m a horrible person so I will cease doing this! I feel powerless. Am I going to hell? —Hopeless

You Are So Going to Hell, You Little Hussy: Indeed, you’re such a charming little fink, you don’t even realize that Hell is your present address. You “want to stop”? Call your friend, tell her that her husband’s a lying cad, and that you deserve to be thrown into her backyard septic tank and gnawed by rats. Then, without going into detail, tell her what you and her husband have been up to. This chat should freeze your lust at such a nippy level, it won’t thaw out till you meet a nice, single, available chap. If you can’t bring yourself to call, write to her. If you can’t write to her, give me the poor woman’s address and I’ll do it.

Or you have another option: Drop the submissive role. (Auntie Eeee understands. It’s delicious. It’s delectable for “the Queen of the Political Scene” to yield all control to the will of a man; but I fear the whole dom-sub scenario is throttling your ability to stand up for yourself. A woman is only what she believes she is.) Then, after stepping away, you may find the grit to decide not to see the scoundrel. And that will end it, my luv.

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at [email protected].