How Real Life Pete-Ariana and Hailey-Justin-Speed Engagements Worked Out

While many are obsessed with the relationship between Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, hoovering up the many, many crumbs they’ve dropped during their whirlwind engagement, the general consensus still seems to be that the whole thing will eventually combust in extraordinary fashion. It’s true there’s not an encouraging precedent for Hollywood quickie relationships. Sure, there are success stories—George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin dated for six months, same for Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello—but they’re definitely fewer and farther between. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries dated for six months before their 72-day marriage, Britney Spears and Jason Alexander hung out for just a few hours before deciding to tie the knot in Vegas, and Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom were together for only a month before they got engaged.

It’s easy to side-eye quick engagements, dismissing their participants as overzealous puppy lovers, too blinded by infatuation to see the light (or darkness) at the end of the tunnel. But while we eagerly tune in to hear what Jason Kennedy and Giuliana Rancic have to say about these nuptials, normals like us have been replicating the same behavior for centuries without all the fanfare.

We spoke to five non-famous humans who also got engaged quickly about their experiences and whether or not it really is possible to identify true love at Grande-Davidson speeds. Couples fell on both ends of the spectrum, though the majority are still together. But we’ll give you the bad news first.

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Lori and Mr. Wrong

Lori was sitting at a crab shack in Montauk when she met Mr. Wrong. His pickup line of choice? “He asked me if that was a Black Flag tattoo on my arm” says Lori. She described him as a taller and better looking version of Bruce Willis. With Die Hard good looks and an appreciation for artistic tattoos, it’s clear to see why the two quickly became inseparable.

“We seemed, keyword seemed, to have so much in common and our lives meshed unlike any other relationship I’d been in,” says Lori, who got engaged when she was 40, after dating Mr. Wrong for only a few months.

Lori says she felt the universe had connected her and her partner, but cracks in the relationships started to show early. Early into the relationship Lori was beginning her business and her spouse grew unsupportive and jealous—qualities you typically can snuff out in a dating period. Long story short: she ditched the dud but kept the business, a dating app centered around missed connections, which she still owns today.

Lori recognizes herself in the Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson coupling: they also “seem” so in love, but the reality of the situation is that honeymoon phrase won’t last the rest of their lives. Her best advice is to enjoy the dating phase, “because there’s no deadline on forever.” (*Bieber voice* Never Say Forever (Sorry))

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Tracy and Dave

Tracy and Dave almost crossed paths in high school, but it wasn’t until years later when they were 24 that they reunited through a mutual friend. The couple married within a few months, but kept the relationship under wraps. “We kept it a secret from most people because we knew people our age would say we were nuts,” says Tracy.

Tracy knew Dave was the one because he just “got it.” “We talked for hours and hours, from social justice to human rights to politics to personal values — we were just in sync.” Tracy and Dave are celebrating 24 years of marriage in December and shared sound advice for new couples Grande and Davidson and Baldwin and Bieber. She advises them to all remember that they are friends first. “When you want to scream and yell or throw things stop and think would I actually treat another friend like that? And if I did, would I expect them to stay and take it? Treat each other like friends, and when one of you forgets that, say, ‘Hey. It’s me. Be my friend.’”

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Andrea and Scott

“We clicked,” says Andrea. “There was no challenge in getting to know one another, having a good time and caring about the same values in life.” The couple met at a Jewish Singles Weekend at the Pines Hotel in the Catskill Mountains during Memorial Day in 1985. They had a chat on the volleyball court but didn’t reunite until April of 1986 and started dating shortly after that. The couple got engaged at the Nevele Hotel in the Catskills during Labor Day Weekend 1986, after only four months of dating. While the romance was whirlwind and they are committed for the long haul, their best advice to other couples was to live together first, something Grande and Davidson are currently doing as of now. “Clean. Cook. Pay bills. Juggle family obligations and work obligations and still make time for date night. Talk — really talk,” says Andrea.

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Tim and Gina

Tim and Gina married after only a month and five days of dating and now have 19 years of marriage under their belt. The two met one night at a bar on Panama City Beach, or what Gina calls the “Redneck Riviera,” and the rest was history. Gina and Tim shared a similar experience to the other couples we spoke with in that they knew it was meant to be early on. For Gina, Tim almost felt like he was her home and the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with, she says. They also finished each other’s sentences and shared the same likes and dislikes early on in the dating phase. “I believe we’ve been together in previous lives or something,” explains Gina. Beyond the shared initial connection, Gina shares a sort of kinship with Grande and Davidson in particular. “I know what it’s like to be young and in crazy love and I definitely remember those hot days. I wish them the best, of course,” says Gina.

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Laurel and Troy

Laurel’s case/love story is truly amazing. She works as a celebrity dating coach on the E! show Famously Single and is a relationship contributor to KTLA Morning News, but she still threw all conventional wisdom out the window when she said yes to Troy, whom she met on dating app “The League,” on only their fifth date. Troy initially lost his shot with Laurel after ruining the first date, but after a long phone call and a bit of pleading, Laurel agreed to continue dating Troy. “It wasn’t just about chemistry — which is surface and fleeting, it was about connection,” says Laurel. She funneled her dating experience into a strategy for getting to know people quickly, asking Troy a number of questions ranging from dreams and goals to his quirks and hobbies. Laurel and Troy will celebrate a year of marriage later this year.

Laurel also wishes the best for Davidson and Grande. While it might just be puppy love at a young age, she hopes the best for the two. She also has a bit more faith in Baldwin and Bieber’s relationship, as they have been together before and broken up to come back together again. “Maybe they just needed the time away to give them new perspective,” says Laurel. “Maybe they did a bit of soul searching.” Maybe.