A Night Out in Samoa: My Funniest Travel Story Yet. | LUX LIFE LONDON

I usually keep the content on my blog fairly open, but with a fair amount of censorship. However, mine and Laura’s night out in Samoa is so funny it deserves zero censorship. So, Nanny, Grandma, Mum, Aunty Sue etc. If you’re all reading this, plz don’t. Like, just click away now! Haha. I wasn’t going to post this blog post, but after I live insta-storied the entire thing on the two nights it happened, and then wrote a brief account of what happened on my Sheraton Beach Resort review, I had sooo many of you messaging me asking for a full blog post explaining the full ‘Fire Dancer’ story! So, here we go.
Laura and I decided we needed one last night out before I left to move back to London. We wouldn’t be able to have one in Sydney due to timings, so we had to have one in Samoa! It ended up being hilarious and so much fun, and an experience we will likely never forget ha. We spoke to the hotel staff and found out that Samoa is fairly conservative even on nights out, and heels were not needed. They booked a taxi for us as it was safer, and so we got changed into flowy reasonably-conservative dresses and flip-flops, and an hour later were sat in a taxi on our way to Apia, the main town/city. 

We had a list of bars that the front-desk staff had given us, and the taxi driver took us to the main area on the Marina where the majority of the bars were. The taxi journey lasted about an hour, and Laura and I were our usual polite-selves chatting away to the driver about everything from Samoan funerals to Mormon Missionaries and religion in Samoa. Oh, that poor driver had no idea what was going to hit him in just a few hours…

He dropped us off and told us he would wait with his taxi friends just outside, so whenever we were ready to go we could just walk out and find his taxi and he’d take us back to our hotel. The bar at the Marina was kinda empty as it was a Thursday night, so Laura and I got started on the cocktail list. They were only about £3, so we quickly worked our way through it and then decided to move on to the next bar.

It was just a short walk down the road, and we were already pretty drunk. At this bar they served a pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea for just £10, and as I watched them make it I was horrified/impressed that it was all alcohol, with a tiny amount of lemonade at the end. The DJ was playing some amaze tunes, so Laura and I were happily dancing away when a couple of guys approached us. They seemed nice and we politely chatted to them, but we’ve always been taught by our mothers not to talk to random men when in other countries, so we made our excuses and left to walk up to the nightclub.

We walked down the road taking selfies and a few kids came running up to us asking to take photos with us, and being a little merry we naturally obliged!

And then we got to the nightclub. We walked in and it felt like a student nightclub anywhere in England really, except there was a pole in the middle of the dancefloor. It was pretty quiet but soon got busier, and we made friends with a group of Samoans, and a group of New Zealanders. Well. I think we made friends with them. It was probably more a case of us drunkenly talking to them while they looked at us wondering who on earth we were? 

Anyway, the guys from the other bar suddenly appeared, and my handbag and flip-flops were annoying me while I was dancing, so they looked after them for me. Laura then made friends with the barman so he kept giving her free drinks, while I made friends with some random guy in a cap who was an INSANE dancer. To be honest everything is a bit fuzzy, but I stopped drinking at this point as I know my limit (Laura does not, as you will find out later). Somehow this random dancer and I ended up dancing together in the middle of the club with everyone standing around us in a circle.

And then we moved away from the crowd and started making out in the corner by the DJ booth, and after a while I asked him if he was from Samoa and what he did. He says “Yeh, I’m a fire dancer”. I laughed and said “Yeh right, ok…” assuming it was an awful pick up line. LOL. As I found out the next night, it defo was not a pick up line.

It was about 1am at this time and the club was about to close, so Laura and I found the guys with my handbag and flip flops (yes, I had been dancing barefoot. My flip-flops had been impairing my dancing abilities. Plz don’t judge), and I was pleasantly surprised to find they still had them and nothing at all had gone missing from my bag. We stumbled outside and the dancer followed, grabbing my arm and asking for my number. We exchanged numbers and then he walked us to our taxi, where he literally pushed me against it and kissed me while Laura shouted at me from inside the car “LET GO OF HIM AND GET IN THE TAXI!”. 

In the taxi I apologised profusely to the driver, and he laughed and asked if we’d had fun. We told him how much we loved Samoa and how nice everyone was and he laughed again. And then half-way back to the hotel Laura asked him to pull over because she felt sick, and he didn’t laugh. I did though. Laura was on all-fours in the mud at the side of the taxi vomiting, because unlike me she doesn’t know her alcohol limit, while the taxi driver and I shared a bag of crisps (bugles, fyi) and waited for her to finish. I apologised on her behalf to the taxi driver, and he said it was OK because it made his night more interesting.
The next day we laughed at the previous night, had a day of relaxing and then got ready for the Cultural Show and dinner with the lovely PR lady at the hotel. If you saw my Instagram stories and the hotel review, you probably already know what happened. We’re sat at dinner and the dancers came on stage. I looked round at Laura and she looked at me. “Catherine…isn’t that the guy you were kissing last night?”, “Erm…yes”.

There he was, the guy from the bar the previous night, dancing on the stage in a traditional Samoan outfit and not really wearing a lot. Laura nudged me again, “If he recognises you, are you gonna let him kiss you again?”, my mouth was still hanging open, and I shot back “Are you looking at the same body I am? Of course I am!”.

The dancers were then told to go and choose members of the audience to dance on stage with them, and so naturally the fire dancer from the previous night walks straight up to me and with a cheeky grin holds out his hand and asks me to dance. I looked round at Laura and raised my eyebrow at her, then looked back at him, and took his hand. His friend chose Laura, so we both felt awkward on stage together and tried our best to dance a traditional Samoan dance…when the previous night he had literally seen me twerking to Beyonce. Fml. Laura and I caught each other’s eye and she burst out laughing, and I actually had to choke back the laughter because I knew if I started I wouldn’t be able to stop!

We danced as instructed, and then at the end he picked a bunch of leaves from the stage display and presented them to me on one knee before helping me down off the stage. After a few more dances and a quick loin-cloth (I have no clue what those are actually called?) change from him, we all went outside for the fire dancing demonstration. My dancer guy was the main act, and I literally stood there in awe…

After the dance he went round the audience saying hi to the guests, and then walked straight up to me and threw his sweaty arms around me and asked if I recognised him. Erm, how could I not?! Laura chatted to his fire dancing friends and it turns out that ALL of them were at the club the previous night and they recognised us as soon as they all got on the stage! 

Obviously I ended up in the bushes kissing this sweaty fire dancer who was wearing nothing but a piece of cloth and some leaves. Eventually I told him I had to go back to the table because HELLO! the PR lady was waiting for me, awks. We chatted for a bit and he asked when he could see me again and I was like “I’m literally leaving in a few hours to get my plane home”, which was a shame because he actually seemed like a really nice guy! 

We walked out from behind the bushes into full view of the open restaurant (oops), and after one last kiss he walked off to join his friends while I walked into the restaurant absolutely covered in his sweat. Like I actually looked like I’d just gone for a swim. Laura was at the table and as I sat down the PR lady said “I came to find you, but you were in the bushes with the fire dancer so thought I’d leave you to it” CRINGE. SO AWKS. OMFG. HUMILIATED. 

Literally the most unprofessional I have EVER been. She was really lovely though and laughed about it, and I explained that we actually knew them from the night before and had NEVER expected to ever see them again, let alone at our hotel! I mean, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!? She was amazing about it and even sent me the photo she took of us on stage with them. 

Seriously though, what are the actual chances?! I totally thought he was just using the ‘fire dancer’ thing as a pick-up line, I never thought he would be an ACTUAL fire dancer! So yeh, that’s my Dirty Dancing story, and the first and last time I will ever give you an uncensored story on the blog hahaha.

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