How Do I Keep My Wedding Off Social Media?

Dear E. Jean: I’m spending $5,000 for a wedding photographer. It’s my largest single expense for my big day and worth every penny: She’s incredibly talented! What worries me is when I’m on Facebook and see amateur photos that wedding guests have posted depicting fuzzy, unflattering images. Sometimes they upload whole albums of someone else’s wedding!

I will have beautiful pictures from my wedding to share with friends and family. I don’t want a Sidekick LX to trump my investment with an off-center shot of me, or anyone else, looking less than fantastic. (I don’t think a ring bearer picking his nose is sweet, and neither would a professional.) How can I ask people not to take and/or post pictures at my wedding without sounding like a Bridezilla? —Prima Donna in White

My bouquet of charm: You live in the Era of the Ever-Present Camera. You’d have to staple people’s phones to the altar rails to get them to stop snapping pictures—and even then a shot of your ex-boyfriend wearing your bridal garter around his head would surface on Facebook.

Of course, if you want to come off as a backlit hissy twit, then go ahead: Outlaw cameras and give the “professional” the run of the place. Then if any guest accidentally snaps you, you can order him dragged from your presence and flogged. Or better yet, shot! What’s important in a wedding photo is not the composition or lighting; it’s the joy of the people caught smiling in it. Mazel tov!

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at [email protected].