How Do I Choose Between the Old Boyfriend and the New Boyfriend?

Dear E. Jean: The Scenario: The love of my life breaks up with me. A year later, I find lovely, adoring, devoted New Boyfriend. Old Boyfriend freaks out, apologizes, and proposes marriage. I decide to stay with New Boyfriend. The Problem: Two years later I think about Old Boyfriend 15 times a day. He still calls. We get along like gangbusters (we share our beloved dog). We still say I love you and I get butterflies when I’m around him. The Question: Have I gone mad? New Boyfriend is lovely too. I’m in love with two guys! One with a little more of my head, one with a little more of my heart. How do I choose? —Even Split

Miss Even, My Little Heat Stroke: Let’s parse this out: 120 words appear in your letter. 97 are about Old Boyfriend. A mere 23 concern New Boyfriend. Add one four-legged. Total it with words No. 6, No. 7, No. 8, No. 9, and No. 10 (where you answer your own question by beginning your correspondence with “The love of my life…”). Come on, do you really need Auntie Eeee?

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at [email protected].