How Do I Get His Friends to Like Me?

Dear E. Jean: My boyfriend of one year invited his old college buddies (they live out of town) to visit. I spent days planning what to wear, what to serve, and was very excited, and when I opened the door, how did these oh-so-charming guys greet me? With a poster-size photo of my boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend. They spent the whole night giggling and pulling the picture out every time I turned my back. Now they’re texting my boyfriend to dump me because I’m a bitch and leaving insulting comments on my Facebook page! I don’t expect my boyfriend to drop his friends, but can’t he at least stand up for me? —Odd Woman Out

Odd, my obtuse: Here’s the great secret of a happy life: If you laugh at yourself, you can get away with anything. And, hence, you won’t need milksops to “stand up for” you. If, for example, you’d flung open the door that night, kissed his buddies hello, seized the poster, ripped it into tiny cocktail umbrellas, and served them in the aperitifs, the guys would have loved you. I suggest you call a truce. Invite the buddies back. And at this dinner, you’ll seat poster-size pictures of their exes in every chair—Godzilla, the Duchess from Alice in Wonderland, etc. Study the book I’m Having More Fun Than You by the hilarious Aaron Karo. He’ll explain to you exactly how guys think.

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at [email protected].